Picnic Anyone?

July 15, 2018

The day I single handedly moved the picnic table… will be a story I tell when I train 100,000 other consultants, when I stand up on stage to give my 100th workshop, and when I ask my clients to push through hard times.

If you know me, beyond FB, you’d know I am freakishly strong, in both physical strength and will. (Unfortunately this doesn’t translate to exercise; however, if I want something done….. I am going to do it myself whether it takes me forever or not.

This picnic table ( a thorn in my side) has been on my to-do list for years. To strip it and paint it and make it my own. Summers keep passing and it mocks me by taking up space in the backyard.

Wednesday I decided I wanted it moved under the overhang so that we could enjoy it all year long, rain or shine. I didn’t want to wait on this. So I started to shimmy it inch by inch, like a worm, from the middle of the yard. Let it be known this is solid wood. I would say it probably weighs 1000 lbs or at least 400.

As I inched it across the yard, the kids started to gather and watch me. This seemed like a huge gang of onlookers but it was really just .

I felt strong and powerful. I felt like I could take on anything!

Until I hit a wall, literally and figuratively. The literal wall was only about 1 foot tall but in order to get the table to its final resting place I would have to pick it up and over this wall. This felt impossible.

The kids were cheering …. my muscles were quivering … and I wanted to walk away. But I knew my mind wouldn’t rest until the job was done.

This is what I have now learned to be the “point of no return”…. in my Daring Way Certification program I have understood it to mean the point in treatment or emotional work where you now know too much to turn back ( you can’t unsee the things you are now aware of)but moving forward seems impossible and arduous.

The point of no return seems to challenge me in every area of my life.

The vow to create a more authentic, wholehearted life makes me often stuck between my old ways and the new ways of living that are more in line with my integrity and . It’s at the point of no return that you realize it’s more comfortable to keep living the same way, but you know if you want to feel truly whole the rest of your life there is no turning back. You can no longer settle for less.

It’s being almost 40 

It’s the point in your marriage where you have committed ten years of your life…. you’ve been through the storms, you know there will be more… yet you keep going anyways. God willing… there will be more.

It’s the fight to keep this house. There’s too much invested to walk away, to many dreams waiting to come to fruition, yet the fight seems endless. Do we have it in us to go one more round? Of course.

It’s my decision to start a private practice. The name has been picked, the documents signed, and now it’s having the courage to put myself out on the line…. and online. To hang a shingle and wait for people to show!!

It’s my Rodan + Fields business. It’s two years of peaks and valleys… it’s being on the cusp of greatness …. the point of no return. The moment where you know too much to turn around and go backwards. The future holds so much greatness. So much promise. Stopping now would feel like a dream being extinguished…. a light going out.

I thought of all these things as I lifted and stopped…. lifted and stopped.

Then I thought of all those strong CrossFit maniacs ( my best friends, Mark and Becca), our beloved Dr. Moskowitz ( a lover of CrossFit) who recently lost his battle … the real point of no return, dying by suicide. I thought of how strong he must have been. The fight he must have had.

I thought of his family. The fight they are up against. The realization that life will never be the same but the desire to still see what comes next still flickers in their hearts.

The point of no return takes resilience.

It’s childbirth. The point in labor where the fun and games are over. The lights flip down from the ceiling, silver instruments lined up in a row. The laughter and the company drifts outside and shit gets real!! It’s time to push. Then, it’s the moment one hour in, when you are tired and feeling like passing out…. bargaining with the nurses, the doctor, and God, to get this child out …. use the suction… whatever it takes

!

The picnic table…..

All of these thoughts swirled in my head. The kids watching and saying the most beautiful encouraging things.

And my thought. I can do this. I can do hard things.

One final lift…. higher …. higher. And over!

Over the wall!!! We cheered and did a round of high fives. They asked to see my muscles.

They made me lunch to celebrate.

These kids…. they got the chance to see me do something hard. They got to see me set a goal, almost quit, and bounce back to complete it.

The day I singlehandedly moved the picnic table is the day I put therapeutic concepts to work. The day I decided to be brave with my life. To keep fighting for our marriage, our house, our life. To keep setting and hitting big business goals. To commit to private practice. To commit to myself and the future without fear and hesitation.

The day I realized I can bounce back from hard things and rise!!!